Legs Up The Wall and Finding My Voice
A conversation on how yoga helped Ali Sperry find her voice + return home again and again
When I think back to the time that my relationship with yoga really began, I remember the awkward days of middle school with braces on my teeth and a hard plastic back brace wrapped around my torso. I would wear an undershirt beneath the brace and my baggy school uniform blouse on top, hoping that no one noticed the unnatural silhouette of my body. Middle school on its own is a fraught and vulnerable time, and experiencing it with these physical constraints in many ways made me want to hide from the world.
Miraculously though, for the most part, I didn’t. I credit that to having a very loving and supportive family that was championing me through this tough time, kind and accepting friends, and discovering tools that helped me reconnect to ease in an uncomfortable body–yoga being one of these. I had a one-on-one session with a Svaroopa yoga teacher who came through my hometown and she gave me a personalized practice that I was instructed to do daily. Having a daily practice was a game-changer. It placed me back in my body every day and helped me to be comfortable there again. This is where my love for Legs Up The Wall (Viparita Karani) began, as it was the first pose of my sequence. I was doing it religiously for 5 minutes a day and it did (and still does) instantly bring relief to my back.
These tender years around 7th and 8th grade were a time for me, as they are for most of us, marked by massive–and not always so pleasant–growth. Juxtaposed with the dealings of acute scoliosis and associated challenges, was my blossoming love affair with singing and theater. It would have been easy for me to become a kid who hid in my room and listened to music and wrote angsty diary entries, but I LOVED performing. It felt like a release, like I could be the unfettered, free version of myself when I was inhabiting the world that existed on stage. If I hadn’t been taking care of my body through yoga at the time, I think I would have been far less eager to get up in front of people, expressing myself and allowing myself to be seen.
In his book How to Write One Song, Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy says “...your voice is your body. So you have to at least tolerate it. It’s important to work toward acceptance at a minimum and love as a goal.” For me, yoga provides a path to this tolerance, acceptance, and ultimately love, not just of your voice but of yourself. The mindfulness aspect of our yoga practice is the opposite of dissociation. It is sitting with what is, and ultimately finding you’re okay there. And then it is from that place that your authentic inner voice can emerge. Tweedy was referring to one’s actual physical singing voice, but I think it applies just as much to our metaphysical voice, to who we are at our core and what we want to express to the world. The journey towards that self-expression starts with just being with ourselves in a quiet, honest way.
My own yoga practice has changed through the years and will always continue to flow and adapt to the seasons of my life. But even on days where the extent of my practice is throwing my legs up the wall for a few minutes before I go to bed, I get that momentary sigh of relief that comes with landing back in my body. That is where I want to operate from in the world. And certainly where I find my voice and what that voice might have to say today.
Yoga + Writing Workshop
Saturday, July 19th 12:30- 2:30PM
This two-hour session will include a slow flow and restorative practice coupled with writing prompts and brief readings. Suitable for those new to yoga and regular students alike.
Led by: Ali Sperry & Susannah Felts